Holidays: A wealth of writing goodness

Each year brings a whole new level of participation and understanding of the season for Abby. It's pretty exciting to watch it all unfold. Last year I think she hung up one, maybe two ornaments; whereas this year she couldn't get enough. Granted there's a section towards the bottom of our tree that is clustered with ornaments, but it's quite possibly the most perfect, beautiful way our tree could be decorated. 

Last night also brought us the first Sunday in Advent, which I love. I have such wonderful memories from my childhood of participating in this celebration with my family. I question how well I teach Abby about Jesus and God, but she's three, so I'm thinking I need to cut myself a little slack. To listen to her say prayers and to hear her say things like, "God my friend mom," or "I love God," tells me I'm doing something right...Even if that doesn't mean she totally "gets it," its something and it's a decent foundation to work from. Last night was yet another example of how much can change in a year. Last year she pretty much just listened and gleefully blew out the candles at the end, but last night...Last night, she worked really hard to sing the songs with me, and when I read prayers, she chose to repeat each line with me. It was awesome!

I love this time of year. I'm particularly thankful this year, as I'm seeing a wealth of opportunities in my writing. I'm still trying to find that magical place of drawing more readers to my Examiner.com column, but I'm pleased with the way I've progressed, and having such a broad topic as all-things-holiday - as it applies to early childhood and parenting - to work with during this season...Outstanding. 

As I type this, I'm gazing upon my tree and all of our traditional Christmas decorations and I find myself wishing they could stay up all year round. On the heels of that, however, is the realization that if our tree were up all the time, it would lose some of its beauty and wonder - it would become just another fixture in our home. But for now - sigh - perfection!

Here's hoping you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope you'll pop by the ol' Examiner.com page from time to time this month and keep up with all the holiday-themed writings. 

It's a rainy Halloween, Abigail Bean

Yesterday was our first "real" Halloween. I count it as real because Abby went on her first round of trick-or-treating last night. She had the words last year, but she was still so painfully shy that the idea of her going up to random houses with completely unfamiliar people...Let's just say none of us envisioned great things transpiring. However, this year I am constantly amazed over how much she's grown socially. There are still certain situations that cause her to revert, but, in truth, I'm okay with this. I appreciate the caution that seems ingrained into her personality.

On the 30th we had a Fall Carnival at church and she had a BLAST there. At first she stayed pretty close to either me or a girl from the church she's grown attached to, but as the day wore on she was gleefully going between the games that she enjoyed the most. "The duckies" were her favorite. As I watched her maneuver the carnival, I knew she was definitely right - she's ready to go trick-or-treating.

I was so proud. She was completely awesome as we went door-to-door. Just like we rehearsed, she'd go up to the door, knock her little knock, and loud and clear offer a "twick-or-tweat!" With her bag held proudly open. Upon receiving her treat, a sweet "Thank you!" was offered. Occasionally, after she'd received reminders on the manners part of things, her "thank you," was especially boisterous.

We brought along her ladybug umbrella, just in case, since the sky had looked a little threatening earlier. Thank goodness for that. She was eager to have her umbrella up and eventually I gave in as it started sprinkling more than spitting. She was thrilled. Then, as we worked our way up the street to join my sister and her family the rain started coming down even harder. It wasn't outright pouring, but it was definitely a steady stream. Yet, she had a blast. She reveled in going from house to house with her cousins. I was amused to see that she seemed to think only one child at the doorstep got to receive candy - and she was content with that. She was happy being in the thick of things, saying her piece. Imagine how happy she was when we assured her she could get a treat too. She melted me. My girl is not a baby anymore. She is magnificent.

I hope you and your family had a marvelous time trick-or-treating.

Moments that take your breath away

Parenting. Like any relationship the parent-child relationship has its highs and lows. There are days when I feel like a complete and utter failure. Then there are days where we’re clicking and it’s perfection. And of course there are the in-between-kind-of-days. Regardless what kind of day it is, she is my everything and my heart feels ready to burst with love more often than not.

You might know that Abby is three-years-old. It’s such a short time for someone to be in your life yet so profoundly impact you, isn't it? When in truth, from the first moment I felt her move in my belly, I was hers.

My pregnancy was not easy, but still I loved having her with me all the time. I spent a lot of time talking to her when she was in my belly. The day I found out she had stopped growing and she would be coming earlier than expected, it was truly my first mommy moment. I remember driving home following that appointment alternating between talking to her and God. Reassurance for her and me and begging God to take care of this life I could no longer imagine being without.

But I digress…This week I’ve been very aware of the best part of my day, which is what spurred this post. My absolute favorite part of the day, one of the best parts of being a mama, is the end of the day last kiss before I go to bed. Often when I sneak into her room and lay the softest of kisses on her beautiful cheek, a smile will briefly flit across her lips.

Earlier this week we shared a similar moment and I swear- it felt as though my heart would burst into a million pieces. As I neared her bed, the floor creaked a little and it drew her every so slightly out of her sleep. Reaching her bedside, she automatically reached out her hand for me to hold. She murmured a few things as she hovered between that deep sleep and slight wakefulness, but wouldn’t release my hand. Her face was completely relaxed and more “baby looking” than I’d seen it look in a long time. I whispered equally unintelligible things to her as I knelt by her bedside, holding her hand, stroking her face for I don’t know how long, watching her sleep before I finally left her side. It’s moments like that, where everything is right in our world and it’s just us, that take my breath away and make all my shortcomings a little more bearable.

What are your favorite parenting moments?

The awesomeness that is Abigail bean

"I  a cowboy girl!"

Recently it seems I’ve been remiss in noticing the awesomeness that is Miss Abigail bean. I always think she’s a cutie patootie and she provides frequent laughs in our family, but we’ve been spending the bulk of our time lately fighting.

I read a fellow Examiner’s article the other day reminding parents the power of positivity. Specifically, speaking and responding to our children in a positive manner. Abby has taken to responding to things that don’t quite meet her fancy with yelling and seriously outspoken frustration. We talk a lot about using her words and it being okay to be frustrated, but handling it differently. Yes, I know she’s only three, but I want to start filling her ‘toolbox’ now.

My realization(s)
I realize the way I respond when I’m frustrated is barely any better than how she reacts. It’s almost as if we’re feeding off each other. Hello! [knock, knock, knock] Adult…are you in there? My responses to her were coming off sharper than I intended - she’s my light, she deserves better. Not to mention a better example.

So how can I expect her to use the tools I’m trying so hard to provide her if I don’t use them myself? I’ve made a conscious effort to watch how I say things to her - it’s amazing what tone can do to otherwise innocuous words.

Bedtime? No way!

Bedtime has been an ongoing struggle for Abby and me. Throughout the summer we’ve grown lax with the actual bedtime. She’s taking issue to staying in bed and has become truly creative in finding reasons to be out of bed. By the end of the day I’m usually ready for us to have a break from each other - especially given our interactions of late. It’s amazing how much more smoothly things go when I choose to respond to her antics in a more positive manner. Take last night, for instance; at the point when tears would’ve been flowing and loud words would be exchanged, we were instead walking hand-in-hand back upstairs where she was happily tucked snuggly into bed dreaming away. Who wouldn’t melt, when at the bottom of the stairs, she instigated the hand holding with, “Let’s hold hands!” You bet sweet girl!

Rediscovering Abby’s Awesomeness

• How completely fabulously adorable she looks when standing on her tippy toes.
• Her inquisitive mind. Reading books is incredibly extended as she wants to know details of every picture. --“Why that dinosaur have jammas?” “Why that dog in her bed?” “Why he crying…” (Me: he has owies). “Why? I don’ like owies. I got owie, I ‘cwied’ because it hurt.”

• Her need to have things just so. If she’s going to dance, she needs to turn on the music, she needs to be wearing certain types of clothes or dress up, mom should not participate until invited to do so and for pete’s sake, don’t sing!
• How she knows her colors, but delights in making mom think she doesn’t.
• Her incredibly cautious nature. I love that she’s a safety girl and even wants to wear knee and elbow pads when roller skating on the carpet.
• When she gets out of bed just one more time because she needs hugs. I want her in bed, but how do you say no to that?
• When she asks for just one more story by holding her index and thumb finger a bit apart and says, “Just a wittle bit, a wittle one?”
• Her giggle when you get in a tickle fest or she thinks she’s getting away with something.
• How she waffles back and forth in declaring her independence: “I a big girl!” to “Abby not big yet.”
• Her “Phoebe” run - so dubbed by my sister. Remember that Friend’s episode when Rachel is embarrassed to run with Phoebe because she’s so…Free when she runs? That’s Abby’s run.
• When I ask her what her name is she says: “Abby.” Abby what? “Ab-i-gail.” Abigail what? “Abigail bean.” Yep, but what’s your whole name? “Ab-i-gail ‘Cistine’ Stewart.”
• As always, I love her because she’s Abby and my very best girl.

If I Could Remember Forever

In an effort to mix things up a little bit I'm sprinkling some of my 'Abby' writings in with my regular blog posts. One of my favorite Abby-inspired writings. Hope you enjoy...

If I Could Remember Forever...

The way her sweet little hand fits perfectly in mine…

The feel of her all snuggled into my neck…
The beautiful lope of her 2-year-old run & the swing of her arms as she sprints from moment to moment…
The perfection of her little hands in a prayerful pose…
The perfect pouty pucker she had as in infant that would erupt moments before the cry…
The look of pure joy & excitement over new accomplishments…
The delight in spotting birds & airplanes…
Her sweet baby breath on my neck & face as she slept…
The excitement on her face when mommy says, “Who loves an Abigail?” “I do, I do!” And her participation in this-shouting right along, ecstatically flinging both arms in the air…
The way she’ll cup her hands, hold out her arms, and in her sweet, little voice, say, “see me?” to anything she finds cute…
The first realization that it’s a wonderful thing to be barefoot in the grass…
How daddy’s hand could once cover her entire back…
The way she would constantly interrupt herself from nursing to bless mommy with beautiful smiles…
The look on her face after she throws a ball, it’s indescribable, but outstanding…
How she would grunt in her sleep as an infant-thus giving mommy & daddy piece of mind…
The sound of her feet running across the kitchen…
The sound of her feet hopping through the house…
The way she looks when she walks around on her tippy toes…
How, if asked to reach for the stars, she will do so with giddy anticipation of being tickled…
Her amazing ability to ignore without wavering…
The way she will roll to her tummy in the tub & declare herself to be “swimmin’!”…
The way she’ll choose the randomest of moments to snuggle, gently trailing her fingers along my arm…
Those sweet little hands grabbing your cheeks, followed by the sweetest of kisses…
How, about 95% of the time if you tell her, “my lips are puckered for you!” you will be rewarded with a smooch…
How, “Mommy, I hold you,” means, please carry me!!…
The beautiful sound of “I love you!” from such a small body…
Walking up the stairs hand-in-hand…

30 plus 1 things to love about Abby

One of my first Abby writings, hope you enjoy. In an effort to mix things up a bit, I'm tossing in some of my favorite Abby writings, hope you enjoy.

Occasionally I play a game with Abby where I just start randomly listing all the things I love about her so I thought I'd see where it takes me.

 Oh how I love Abby, let me count the ways...

1. I love how she can be totally cautious with some things and in the next moment find something to be fearless about.

2. Those beautiful blue eyes
3. I love the way the way Abby uses her tongue-when she's thinking or working hard on something, out it comes. When she's saying sort of a long word that she can't quite get fully, she'll waggle her tongue around to help the cause, like with toodlydoo!
4. Her laugh
5. The way she just randomly lifts up her shirt and then acts all embarrassed about it
6. The way she gets her groove on-she's quite the dancer
7. How she just has to brush her teeth when she sits on the potty
8. What a sweet little mama she is to her dolls & toys

9. The way she just LOVES her grandpas, but takes issue with most other men-until she gets warmed up, that is

10. How it takes her awhile to decide how she feels about things-she doesn't tend to just jump right in. For example, her toy vacuum, her elmo doll-things that are loud-she will often watch first, try later.

11. The way she asks you if you're okay if you cough or make any other abnormal noise. "you okay mama, okay?" Insert your name there-she's very concerned

12. Her hugs

13. Her sweet, face-holding kisses

14. The way she jumps

15. How she likes to play hide-&-seek, but waits in scared anticipation of being found!

16. How dramatic she is-she's definitely her mama's daughter!

17. The way I can't even think about getting her out of the tub unless she "shows" me she's ready by trying to drain the tub herself.

18. Her facial expressions. She's been SO expressive since she was a wee one!

19. The way she says her words, particularly how she kind of draws out her vowels.

20. When she howls after she makes a basket-it's hilarious!

21. Listening to her talk and sing as she's waking up in the mornings.

22. How she'll call for mama at first, but if I don't come quickly enough it soon becomes, "BECCA!!"

23. Those gorgeous blonde curls.

24. How "see me" equals hold me, sit with me in Abby land.

25. The way she just randomly crosses her ring finger with her middle finger when she's sitting idly. (I actually do the same thing-though I never noticed it until I realized Abby did it as well)

26. The way she likes to find a way to put her feet up so she can kick back & relax (she's done this since she was a baby)

27. How she likes to store her specials in various places-the seat of her bike, the designated kid drawer in the kitchen, on her special shelf in the living room

28. How she went nearly 2 years of her life without truly special sleep buddies & now she's practically running out of room for all the things in her bed!

29. When I ask her if she wants to pick out a movie, she'll pull the movies out & instead of looking at the front, she'll study the back as if she's actually reading it.

30. How "amens," means say prayers and she'll want to say "amens" at any old time during the day-not just bedtime.

31. Finally, I love her because she's Abby, the greatest gift I've ever been blessed with!

--Written April 3, 2009

A little over a year later, many of things remain the same, but it's amazing to see the way she's grown in other areas. The one that springs most quickly to mind is the leaps and bounds she's made in regards to her shyness. She's still the last of the great ignorers, but she works really hard to push herself out of her box, it's a pretty amazing transformation to watch. 

Let the Abby-isms begin!

As promised, the funnies that make up life with Abby.


This was being written near the 11:00 p.m. hour last night and yes, my child was still awake. I heard coughing so as I'm heading upstairs to get her some cough syrup, she meets me at her door. I've clearly surprised her with my astute offering of medicine, as she eases the door closed behind her, stepping over the threshold. So she takes her medicine, declares herself to be feeling better - "I better now mom, thanks." As I start to grab her hand to tuck her back into bed, she quickly assures me that it's better she do it herself. "Are you sure honey, don't you want me to tuck you in?" "No mommy, I good...(slightly panicked) Don't go in there." Mmm, ruined it for yourself kid. So now I'm giving her a few minutes to see just where this is heading - clearly not back to bed. Apparently she was playing and had decided to throw every last toy in her room all around - party in Abby's room! 

Clearly not the face of a mischievously sassy girl.

Abby quote of the day: "Look mom, I a pirate!" Upon placing her duck on her shoulder.
Runner up: Coming up to me this afternoon, hands behind her back, she triumphantly declares, "I find footprints!" Huh? The look on her face coupled with those missing hands tells me more is to come...Sure enough, out pops a magnifying glass. Apparently she equates magnifying glasses with footprints, why I do not know, but perhaps I have a budding Sherlock Holmes on my hands.